Make it Easy

I've lived in my house for almost 20 years and I would guess the house itself is maybe 40 years old. And the other day the front handle to the door just fell off. I went to go outside and pulled the door handle like I have hundreds of times before but this time the handle just came off in my hand.

I looked an looked for what I wanted to replace it with. Finally I decided on this cool keyless mechanical lock that you just punch a code in. I bought the lock and waited until a day off to install it.

One afternoon I unpacked all the instructions, screws, long dingies, short doodles and sat by the door and started working. I read the instructions, stared at the directions, tried to put it together without the instructions. I thought about forcing the lock and just make it go on but I knew, from experience that forcing the issue doesn't make it work. So I gave up. I realized I needed help.

And several days later my girlfriend who is a wonder, slowly, methodically, and with ease installed the lock as I handed her tools and pieces the way a nurse hands instruments to the surgeon.

And I applied this to my son. When he tells me he is ready for a new start I let my heart jump for joy. I start planning how I can help him, think about what he needs to do, give gentle reminders, offer rides, insist on taking him to apply for jobs. Everything is laying before him and I am trying to push, maneuver, manipulate him into doing what will make me happy.

So the lesson for me is that something is really hard it means I need to back off. If I try to force anything it will not work with ease. I need to work on making everything in my life easy.