Saturday, June 14, 2008

Doing Nothing

Wow, this week has been hard! Not only do I have two sons who are angry and at times spew venom but now I have another relative who is yelling obscenities. This behavior is definitely throwing me off center. I realize that I am fearful but I don't know of what.

There is a river that I love that runs through the town I live in. I love to walk on it with my dogs or ride my bike alongside it on the path or just sit next to it. I love to watch how it swells in the spring and tapers off as the seasons progress. It has such energy and life. If I stop and think too much about how I love it then somehow I lose the enjoyment. It's like I'm holding on too tight. It is it's ever changing spirit that I love. To capture it would be to lose it.

Perhaps I can look at my personal life the same way. I need to let it flow and let crazy behavior be crazy and let it flow past me. I don't always have to act on crazy behavior. Sometimes the best defense is no defense. A great strategy is to do nothing.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Expectations

A lot of my unhappiness stems from expectations I have. Expectations of what my day will be like. Expectations of what a relationship I have will turn into. Expectations of what my children will do with their lives. And expectations almost never become reality.

Do an experiment. Draw a line down the middle of your journal paper. On one side write down what you are worried about. On the other side write down what you think is going to happen. Each and everytime you are worried about something repeat the process. Then see if you see a pattern.

Our expectations can get us in trouble. Our life unfolding is a wonderful and joyous surprise. And although there is sadness and pain it is always changing to unfold new lessons. So today is what I have. And today I am doing well.