Fear

The other day I was talking to my sister and she mentioned that she was a very anxious person and she had a lot of fears. I quickly responded, "Really, I don't really have many fears." And when I said that I meant it.

That evening my son was late coming home. He had a curfew of 12:00 and it was well past that. I was angry and thought about what consequence I could give that would be meaningful. And every minute he was late I got angrier. And then I realized that behind that anger was fear. I was scared for him. And after that night I started realizing that behind my anger is almost always fear.

Acknowledging and accepting the fear, somehow dissipates it a bit.

So when I'm angry or scared I let myself feel that for a bit. But then I try to think that all I can do is what I can do. At the end of the day I can not stop my son's heroin addiction, I can't prevent him from being arrested, or from going to prison. But I can change my life for the better. I have great power over myself and what I will do today. Today I will work on putting down the fear and anger.

"That the birds of worry and care fly above your head, this you cannot change. But that they build nests in your hair, this you can prevent."
Chinese proverb